Trust in the Lord

Wow was I ever hit with a ton of spiritual bricks today. It's like God kept hitting me up one side of the head then the other. Powerful morning. See it all started on Friday, I ate a rotisserie chicken from Costco. Then proceeded to get a migraine. Grr dang chicken. Head pain Saturday then Sunday and Monday. Letting up Tuesday then later in the day started to get a sore throat. What now? Ask some wonderful people to pray. I want to be at my best for Madeline. Surgery is next week.

Wednesday morning sore throat pretty much gone. Feeling good. I spend a good chunk of morning writing my then latest blog post. Thought how long with this take I'll just pop this out puppy then I'll get you a walk. 11 am finally done off on a walk. What a beautiful day. Oh no like 3 minutes into the walk major nausea takes over. I am sick as a dog. Came home and could not eat lunch. Lied around on the couch a good chunk of the afternoon watching a stupid TV show. Then fought with tax papers. Crying and getting so frustrated. Even cursing at God. I texted a friend and said I am having a terrible horrible no good very bad day. Was not in a good head space. I apologized so many time to God for swearing at Him.

So day is coming to an end and I am thinking about my bible study group I am to lead the next day. I say to my husband I don't want to go to Gather tomorrow. I am not in a good head space. But morning comes as it always does. Sleeping on things can be a good thing. Hubby prayed for me before bed too. That is always good. Then in the am I am in a better head space.

I get ready for the day. A lady from my church prays with me every Thursday morning. For my leadership, my table and all of our Gather group. She is a wonderful lady older in life. Much wisdom, and a love for prayer. I share with her about Madeline and my week. She had not heard yet about Madeline. I pour out a bunch of stuff. Then she shares with me something she received as I shared.

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:4-9

Wow that really spoke to me. She also shared don't let the enemy trip you up. I think your sickness has been you taking on your daughter and all of this situation. Wham! Another spiritual brick. Also she shared thanking God that He is in control. Wham! Such good words I needed to hear. We both pray and now I am set to go to Gather.

Then at Gather we are doing a teaching by Henry Cloud called The Law Of Happiness. Boy oh boy did today's teaching hit me right between the eye's. “what someone thinks in their hearts so are they” Pr. 23:7 God is bigger then any negative thought or reality. Take ever thought captive. “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2 “ In every circumstance give thanks for this is God's will in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18

So then after the video teaching we sat around our table to delve into discussion. First question “Where do I have negative thinking? What positive thoughts do I need to replace it with?” I started sharing about this week, yesterday and where my head was at. Then how I was so encouraged by this lady I pray with on Thursday mornings before Gather. Now here.

One lady responded with “sing when your mind wanders in a wrong place.” Then another friend shared from the sermon on the weekend. Which I had missed due to migraine. Either living in the flesh or living in the spirit. Pastor Phil had asked everyone to read out loud Romans 8. Which I just did. Powerful stuff in that book. Woo Wee!! Listen to this. “26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” “28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. “ Then further down, “31 What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Wow so much good stuff in here. You will need to go read the chapter for yourself. Another lady at my table shared how yesterday around 2 pm I came to mind. What came to mind for her was that I was to trust in the Lord.

So as you can see I have a bit of meat here to chew on. Boy do I ever. Satan you can take a hike! I have God on my side, the Holy Spirit praying for me and a team of prayer warriors lifting me up! God got this! God's got me, Madeline and this situation. Who will be able to separate me from the love of Christ? No one that's who! I needed some spiritual slaps upside the head thank you Jesus!

Oh and I almost forgot some important stuff. Thanks Lord for the reminder. I need an attitude of gratitude. To be thankful in all things. Not some things depending on my situation. But all things! God thank you for Madeline and all we are going through! I know you have got this situation in the palm of your hand. That you love each of us and that all things work together for good for those who love the Lord! I sure do love you. Your the best. Thank you for loving me through all things. Even my rotten attitude yesterday. You are an amazing God! Worthy of all our praise. We need to be praiseworthy no matter what! So when you see me walking down the street with my dog singing to my praise music that's just me loving my dad! Saying it is well with my soul. I don't know how things will go Tuesday but I know who does and that is what counts!

Deborah

25 Ways You Can Help a Family With a Child Fighting Cancer

Good morning everyone! It is a new and beautiful day out there. I can't wait to take my dog for a walk. But I wanted to get a blog post up first.
A few weeks back I had been chatting with a friend and she suggested maybe there is a christian teen who is battling cancer and she is writing about her journey in a blog? Maybe it is encouraging and would be good for your daughter to read? So I searched and found nothing. Then I got the idea maybe there was books? So I searched and found two stories that looked like they would be inspiring stories of christian teens who had faced cancer. So I bought them. The one story I knew the teen died but was not sure in the other. Then it hit me what if in both books the teens die? Maybe I better proof read these before I give them?

 
So these last few days I have done lots of reading. In both stories the teens were so courageous. I admired how they faced there cancer. Such moving stories. The one about a teen boy was written by his mom. She poured out her heart on those pages. I think it was written 4 months after he died. Wow wonder how she did that? I would think that would be hard. But fresh in your mind so you can remember the details better. But it was graphic in nature. So thought to myself nope not sharing with Madeline. I'm so glad I read it. I had a little understanding of cancer but not fully. Now I understand way better. At one point in the story the mom offers up a prayer “Okay, Lord, you can have him. But if he must die, I want it to be for something big. I want someone's life to be changed forever.” God answered her in ways she could never have imagined. The mom had asked her son to write letters to people. But instead he wrote a song. It got published and became a #1 hit. Touched so many lives. The book is called Fly a Little Higher by Laura Sobiech. Here is her son's song.

The other book I just finished yesterday is Never Ever Give Up by Erik Rees. In this story there daughter was 11 when she was diagnosed with an inoperable and incurable brain tumor. The parents and their daughter were leaving the hospital right after an a initial visit. Were getting into the car to drive away when the daughter asked about all the kids they saw in the hospital. “when do the other kids get to go home?” The dad explained it depends on the type of cancer and their treatment. Some stay for weeks, or months at a time. Some stay the whole treatment. Daughter says how can we help them? She was determined to help kids fighting cancer. She got home that day and started making goodie bags for the kids in the hospital. Which turned into something big. They started making what they call Joy Jars. They will send them free to kids fighting cancer across the US and Canada. They fill them with t-shirts that say NEGU (never ever give up), toys, teddies, and who knows what all. It started small and now it is huge. She did so many amazing things while battling cancer. Like I said both stories so inspiring.
jessie.org

 
In the back of Never Every Give Up their was a section called 25 ways you can help a family with a child fighting cancer. I wanted to share those here. I think what great info not only for families fighting cancer but any major illness.

1. Mow their lawn.
   
2. Offer to babysit the other kids while one goes to treatment or medical exams.
   
3. Fill up their car with gas, wash the car, and/or get the oil changed.
   
4. Provide meals and/or grocery items.
   
5. Offer to take family photos for them.
   
6. Have a garage sale to raise money for the family.
   
7. Buy fun hats for a child who is losing hair.
   
8. Plant flowers in their yard.
   
9. Offer to look after their pets or walk the dog.
   
10. Bring activity books, sticker books, magazines, and kids' books.
    
11. Write them a note to say you're thinking of them.
    
12. Offer to drive siblings to activities.
    
13. Offer to run errands-grocery shopping, dropping off dry cleaning, ect.
    
14. Clean the house or give them a gift certificate for cleaning services.
    
15. Bring them a “movie night” package-a DVD, popcorn, and candy.
    
16. Decorate their lawn with encouraging signs.
    
17. Put up or take down holiday decorations.
    
18. Do yard work.
    
19. Promote their Facebook page or any events in their honor.
    
20. Take siblings out for a play day.
    
21. Organize a closet.
    
22. Help them sort through their mail so they don't lose track of their bills.
    
23. Offer to make phone calls to their friends and family with important updates.
    
24. Help them write thank-you notes.
    
25. Order silicone support bracelets or stickers.
    

Great list. Don't know that we need any of this at the moment and not all would apply to us. But good to know when anyone we know is facing something hard. Here's a list of practical ways we can help.



As you know we are eating ketogenic. Friend said to me the other day Deborah would like to make you a meal but I don't know how to cook for you. Could you please let me know. So I thought I would post that here. One thing is we don't do soy products. Or I can't have whipping cream. At this point do we need meals? I don't know? Won't know what next week or the future looks like till we have had that surgery. You can always google keto recipes for ideas if you need or want. Click on the picture for it to enlarge.

 
Again thank you all for the love and support we are receiving. Your prayers mean so much to us.



Deborah

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Gift of Encouragement

So excited to share this post with you today. I started a project for and with Madeline. I want to get her a gift to give her while she is in the hospital. So I went to my local christian bookstore in town to see if they had something for her their. I had no idea what exactly I wanted. I had suggested to Madeline that she should find a scripture or two to memorize to take with her into surgery. So I had this thought in mind. I also know my daughter read a book by Sadie Robertson that she loved. She wanted the next one. But too expensive for me. Knew Sadie had a box of scripture cards. I had seen them at the store before. When I asked if they had them they were sold out. Talking with one of the staff I mentioned that Madeline was going through something hard and I wanted to get her a gift to encourage her. The lady mentioned to me a hard time she had gone through and how she had written out scripture and encouraging notes on fun sticky pads. Then she stuck them all over her bedroom walls and her mirror in the bathroom. I thanked her for the idea and left. 

Couple of days later I got an idea. I would buy sticky notes in fun colours and shapes. Then I would in list some of Madeline's close friends and family to write out encouraging scripture and notes as a surprise for Madeline. I also decided to have a mother daughter date with her and write a bunch out ourselves. That evening Madeline was suppose to go to youth. But they were serving all kinds of food she could not eat. I said I would buy special snacks she could take with her. But she said no. It will be to hard to be there. Still bought special snacks. So that evening we sat on her bed together with parsnip and carrot chips. They were both tasty by the way. Also with our fun sticky notes and colourful gel pens. We both headed to Pinterest to get encouraging sayings and scripture. It was a good night. At the end she got fun washi tape and stuck them to her walls. But they were not sticking very well. I said you know what you need is a cork board. She said to me I have always wanted a cork board. Really I never knew that well I'll see what I can do. Knowing money was very tight at the moment I knew I could not afford to buy one. So went on Facebook and posted does any friends have a cork board they don't want and would like to give away free? Never hurts to ask. One lady replied right aways. She said that I probably do and can bring it to bible study on Thursday. 

 

Thursday comes and a different lady comes up to me and tells me a lady at her table said this was for you. She said who but I already knew. She said that I should go over there and tell her Jesus said you need a hug. So I go and do just that. Well as I am hugging her I start to cry. I said you have no idea how much this means to me. Thank you. She said your welcome. What are you doing with it? A vision board? I am like what? Never heard of that. I said that my daughter and I were putting encouraging notes and scripture on it. We tried taping them to the wall but they would not stick. I felt I was to tell her Madeline had cancer. So I did. She hugged me again. More crying. Then at one point she comes back over to me and asked me what I was doing afterwords did I have 30 minutes? Depends for what? She said I was thinking of going to a scrapbooking store and getting pretty paper to decorate the cork board. I teach classes on making vision boards or some people call them blessing boards. I said yes.

We head down to the local scrapbook store and she asks me what are my daughters favourite colours. I say pink and blue. We are browsing around when I get the idea Madeline wants a sea/beach themed room. Wonder if they have papers? Yes racks and racks of it. Friends gets an ingenious idea. I love it! We find paper to match. She said what she likes to do is have background paper, then for the notes frame them in matching paper. So we find lots of paper. It's beautiful Madeline is going to love this. Crying so blessed. Then she takes me off to the dollar store to get push pins and shells. So I can glue shells on the end of the push pins to make them pretty. More crying. What an outpouring of love! I can't wait for Madeline to come home.

 

I put the background paper on and glue shells tp pins. That evening I reveal what I received that day. 

Madeline loved it absolutely loved it. Then we frame notes. What Madeline does not know is the friends and family who also wrote notes. Did not finish that night. Continue another day. Love how the day we went to finish Madeline says OK mom our notes are all framed lets go pin them up. She heads to her room I quickly put more notes on the table. So when we have hung all her notes we go back to clean up. She goes what? She picks up the new notes and see's a friends name written on one. She says are they all from her? I said no keep reading. She almost starts to cry she is very moved. What a beautiful project. I love it. So does Madeline. May the words encourage her. When Satan try's to sneak in may she be lead to read her notes and kick him out! 

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Is It Well With My Soul?

Hello Everyone it's a beautiful day here where I live. Lovely day for a walk with my dog. Gone hopefully are the days of unending clouds. Onto beautiful spring and sunshine. 

As I was walking my dog today again listening to music as I go. I use to not do that. It's just been the last couple of months that I started listening to music. But so good. Today listening to Mercy Me Lifer album. Like I said last post it's on repeat. Today as I'm going along feeling good then this song comes on. 

 

I'm still praising the Lord but tears are welling up a little. It reminds me of when my dad is dying of cancer at 64. We had just started a new church in the fall. My dad was diagnosed July 1 2004 with pancreatic cancer and was not given long to live. This church was singing a new song to us blessed be the name of the Lord. Some of the lyrics were:

 

“Blessed be your name

When I'm found in the desert place

Though I walk through the wilderness

Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out I'll

Turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be your name

Blessed be your name

On the road marked with suffering

Though there's pain in the offering

Blessed be your name”

I would sit there in church not able to sing. I would cry out to God please don't take my dad's life. Please Lord heal him. I would sometimes try and sing but it would often lead to tears and pleading prayers. It was a hard time. My dad had told me in the summer that if it was his time to die he was ready to go home. I was not ready for him to go. I hate cancer.

At this woman's conference I went to, one of the speakers had cancer. She called it a gift. She said that it drew her closer to Christ. I don't know if I could ever call cancer a gift. But one thing I think about is my daughter and her friends. See the day we left the ear nose and throat specialist's office and were driving home. I told my daughter how important it is for her to gather a support group around her. To tell some close friends so that they can pray for you. Would be very good that you tell your small group leader too. Madeline doesn't know who I have all told. I need the love and support of others at this time. The amazing prayers being lifted up. Hugely important. What I hope and pray for is that through this journey Madeline and her friends faith will be strengthened. That they will see miracles. That God will reveal Himself to them. Do I want my daughter to go through this to strengthen her faith? No not at all but as she is going through this then yes God do a mighty work. Reveal yourself to her time and time again.

I love the Lord and am close with him. Right now I can sing Even If but the one line “but what will I say when I'm held to the flame like I am right now.” When rubber hits the road and I am more closer to the flame then I am right now then what? Will I still be able to say “It is well with my soul'? 

Deborah 

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He Weeps With Me

Hello everyone and welcome to my new blog, He weeps with me. I will explain the meaning of the blog title in a bit. As you all know Madeline has a low grade cancer. In August of 2017 she told us she felt a lump on her face. That started us on this journey.

Now it is April 23 2018. We await her surgery which is scheduled to take place May 8th at Kelowna General Hospital. For those of you wondering Madeline is doing great. She had to go for a biopsy to take some of the lump out to test it and see if it was cancer. While there prepping her face to remove some of the lump the nurse went to hold Madeline's hand and Madeline gave me this strange look. Like why is this lady holding my hand? She lied their perfectly still and had no stress showing on her face at all. She seemed perfectly at peace. Let me tell you I would be freaking out on the inside. Probably you would see it on the outside as well. But she was cool as a cucumber. The nurse and biopsy doctor were both impressed with her. The nurse said we have adults who come in here and don't do as well as you. Then when we saw the ear nose and throat specialist who would do the surgery, and he told us that it is 100% cancer.Which Madeline had not heard yet. We had been told it was most likely cancer but sending off results to Vancouver to verify for sure so we wanted to wait in telling Madeline. But when she heard it for the first time she took the news well.  Also when we had our pre operation screening meeting, and we met with the anesthetists, who said that if she would like to bring a favourite teddy bear with her into surgery or a blanket she could. Madeline says but won't I be sleeping? Yes he said. I knew right aways what she was thinking. I explained to the anesthetists about her biopsy appointment and how that went. Said to Madeline that some people need one of those things with them but if you don't then don't bring one. She just seems so strong and courageous.

A few weeks ago I had started a new diet, lifestyle change really. I started the ketogenic diet for health reasons. You eat lots of vegetables, high fat meats, and dairy. It's a type of high fat low carb diet. Knowing that sugar feeds cancer Ben and I thought that Madeline should do the diet along with us. We explained a bit about sugar and it's effect on cancer she said so I shouldn't eat sugar then? I said no  probably not. Ben said and all breads and pastas when eaten turn to sugar too. Next day she comes home from school and says mom guess what? One of my friends at school thinks she has celiac's and has to go on a special diet. I said to her I have cancer and am doing a special diet too. We can be diet buddies. She said it with such enthusiasm. What an amazing attitude. I am so proud of her.

She does have her downs too. This past weekend she was serving at our church in the kitchen. Helping with food prep. We had a women's conference on. So supper, breakfast, lunch, and snacks was proved. She has been embracing the diet. Easy to do when you are home and that is all the foods that are offered to you. But when you are out and offered food to eat as a way of saying thanks for serving. Then it gets hard. She begged me the one meal mom please can I have the strawberry salad? It was covered in a sugary dressing. So hard for me to say no sorry you can't. You brought your own dressing have the tossed salad. My momma heart was breaking.

At this conference we had the option to sign up for one of the three workshops. The one I chose was called good grief. I debated whether that was the right one for me or not. Madeline is not dying or anything. But when I thought about it there are things around this whole journey that I am grieving. So to know how to grieve well would be good. I sat there in this class and I cried. My friend beside me offered kleenex and wrapped her arm around me. This journey is hard. I handle it well most of the time but sometimes I weep. In this class which was lead by a lady who is a trauma counselor among other things, she shared the stages of grief.

Which are:
Denial (shock)
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
Theological:
Death
Resurrection

She said that there is no set order as to when you will experience which. One moment your in anger then the next your in resurrection then up to depression. Grief is a journey and everyone will go through it very differently.

Then she shared what not to say to someone experiencing grief.

Do not:
Be insensitive
Minimize emotions
Compare person to someone else a project for yourself
Give false hope especially to children
Dishonest
Quick to fix
Pry into circumstances
Judge

Then she talked about how to help yourself.

Talking
Journaling
Self-care
Rest
Clinical
Antidepressants
Reading and Educating

Be aware:

Allow emotions
Avoid stressors
Praying
Relaxing (self-care, eat, sleep)

Thank you to a dear friend for sharing your notes with me. I am an auditory learner so note taking is very difficult for me. So thankful I took this class. Wow I learned so much.

Another thing about this weekend that stood out to me was a story a lady shared. Her daughter who was 12 developed anxiety. One day on a road trip her anxiety kicked in. The mother said I could pray for my daughter and I will but there comes a time in her daughters life she has to take charge of her anxiety herself. So the mother found 33 scriptures to overcome anxiety. She said to her daughter I want you to read these out loud. So the daughter who is hyperventilating starts reading. As she is reading she starts calming down. By the end the anxiety is gone. I thought of Madeline and her upcoming surgery. She should pick a scripture or two to memorize and take with her into the surgery. Truth to hold onto. So on Sunday after my conference I am sharing some stuff I learned with her. This story was one of them. Then later that day as I am putting my daughter to bed, (by the way my 14 and 13 year old still like us to pray over them before bed) I see on her window she has written out a scripture. I say why did you write out that scripture? I don't know I just liked it. Maybe you should memorize that one?

Another thing I learned this weekend is worship is warfare, when you feel bloody keep singing. Powerful. Lately as I have been walking my dog I listen to christian music. Two albums I play on repeat right now are Mercy Me Lifer and Rend Collective Good News. Both albums are up beat and filled with such amazing truths. I walk through my neighbourhood praising the Lord! On Rend Collectives album they have a song called Weep with me. One line in the song is "Lord I believe that you weep with me." Such powerful lyrics throughout the whole song. This song is what I based my blog name after. Please take a listen.

I know that God loves us and will not forsake us. That He is walking along side of us holding our hands. We are not on this journey alone. Thank you for each one of you in our lives who offer up your prayers and your care for me, my daughter and our family. I feel loved and surrounded by an amazing group of people.

Blessing you with,

Jehovah Shalom

Deborah 

(Shalom: safety, rest, prosperity, wholeness, welfare, completion, fullness, Soundness, and well being.) 

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