So the day of my last blog post I felt better that day then I had in a long time. In the evening on that day before bed I was feeling amorous. As was my hubby. So I left my room to say good night to the kids. They are 14 and 15 and still like to be prayed for before bed. Habit we keep doing and they keep wanting. So why stop. But as I am walking down the hall I hear crying from my daughter. I go to the kitchen to see her sitting on a stool crying and my son staring at something on the floor. So I asked what happened? My daughter says through cries that she was trying to make her lunch for school tomorrow when the olive can fell out of the fridge and onto the floor. My mind goes mom is needed. Daughter is over tired and I will clean up this mess. So I tell daughter that she should go to bed. Make lunch in the morning. My son has grabbed paper towel already to start cleaning up. I say we will clean up the mess. I ask if he could pick up all the olive bits and I will wipe up the liquid. Thinking what is the big deal. But as I am down on all fours cleaning up the liquid my back really starts to hurt. I mean really hurt. So I start to cry and cry and cry. My son says mom I can clean that up for you. So sweet of him. Broke my heart. But at that point I was done. I think how can I have sex now with all my crying. I say good night to the kids and head to my room, where I find my husband falling asleep. So I slip into bed and cry some more. I just want to be able to be a mom. Really God? Is that too much to ask? Cleaning up the floor should be a simple thing to do. Like really. Not crying quietly enough hubby hears and asks what's up. So I tell him what happened. Then how I came to bed and he was falling asleep. He said we can still have sex if you want to. You would think that would be a good thing and it is but I'm having health issues in that regard. So not as enjoyable for me.
When life is hard what does one do? Lament? Cry? Pray? Worship? How does one see a light at the end of a dark tunnel? How does one praise in the pain? I was telling a friend about my chronic pain. She told me how she has chronic pain too. She recommended a book to me. Written by a man who was a missionary and got sick and it turned into an autoimmune disease. He makes you look at prayer differently when praying for yourself or others with chronic illness. So I got a hold of his book called The Uninvited Companion by Scott E. Shaum. I read chapter one today. Moved me. Here are the notes I took.
- "could it be that pain, although painful is a grace and therefore not necessarily "bad"?"
- "God has designed the human soul to require suffering to reach maturity."
- "Paul calls us to "rejoice in our sufferings." (Romans 5:3) and James wrote that we are to consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters whenever you face trials of many kinds..." (James 1:2) these men were not masochists. Rather they know something of the work of God through life's hardships. They did not rejoice in the pain; they rejoiced in what God was doing in the midst of the pain. Knowing this reality caused them to have a profoundly different response to suffering. They knew suffering as a needed gift in this life."
- Our pain in the hand of a loving father brings forth amazing transformation that otherwise would not happen."
- "Suffering never has the final say our God does."
Looking forward to reading more and gleaming from this mans experience.
So this week my husband has been doing two hours overtime a day. He is doing four tomorrow and being taken out by a friend for his birthday. We normally grocery shop on Saturdays. I wondered how we would do that this week? Knowing my hubby will be tired from work tonight and it's Friday. I really didn't think he would want to grocery shop then. So I contacted a friend to see if she was free to take me to Costco. She said yes she could if I could get it all done in 30 minutes. She asked you just have a few things to get? No I said but I could do it all in that time. See I really wanted to bless my hubby and not make him have to go. So I was determined I could do it. I had no time to plan a list or check supplies I had to go when my friend was free. So off we went and you know if you really set your mind to it and boogie you can get a weeks shopping done in 30 minutes. My friend actually checked her watch and I had done it in 20 minutes! Woo I'm smokin! With all my back pain I don't usually lift groceries into the car or carry much into the house. With my beautiful friend she did all of that for me. I am so blessed. Thank you Jesus. We need community. We can't do this life on our own.
Was thinking as my friend left that I should make cookies. I wanted to bless her with some to take to work for her supper later today. So I put everything away fast, ate and made cookies just in time for my friend who was zipping back over to pick up her groceries she left here, as she did not have time to get them home before running more errands. This is what I gave her.
When she popped over in her rush. She said are they for my kids? No they are for your supper at work. She said I'm going to start crying. I said I love you. Off she went. I just knew she needed those cookies. So I pushed aside my back pain and thought I need to do this for my friend. Also their will be some for my family. Blessings all around.
Today I still have pain but it feels good to bless others. Oh and those dreaded feelings and thoughts that I was suffering with I have not had any since Sunday! Praise the Lord. Thank you also to all those who are praying for me. What a blessing that is. :) What do you do to push past the hard things in life to be a blessing? To do what God is calling you to do? Share your thoughts in the comments.
When life is hard what does one do? Lament? Cry? Pray? Worship? How does one see a light at the end of a dark tunnel? How does one praise in the pain? I was telling a friend about my chronic pain. She told me how she has chronic pain too. She recommended a book to me. Written by a man who was a missionary and got sick and it turned into an autoimmune disease. He makes you look at prayer differently when praying for yourself or others with chronic illness. So I got a hold of his book called The Uninvited Companion by Scott E. Shaum. I read chapter one today. Moved me. Here are the notes I took.
- "could it be that pain, although painful is a grace and therefore not necessarily "bad"?"
- "God has designed the human soul to require suffering to reach maturity."
- "Paul calls us to "rejoice in our sufferings." (Romans 5:3) and James wrote that we are to consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters whenever you face trials of many kinds..." (James 1:2) these men were not masochists. Rather they know something of the work of God through life's hardships. They did not rejoice in the pain; they rejoiced in what God was doing in the midst of the pain. Knowing this reality caused them to have a profoundly different response to suffering. They knew suffering as a needed gift in this life."
- Our pain in the hand of a loving father brings forth amazing transformation that otherwise would not happen."
- "Suffering never has the final say our God does."
Looking forward to reading more and gleaming from this mans experience.
So this week my husband has been doing two hours overtime a day. He is doing four tomorrow and being taken out by a friend for his birthday. We normally grocery shop on Saturdays. I wondered how we would do that this week? Knowing my hubby will be tired from work tonight and it's Friday. I really didn't think he would want to grocery shop then. So I contacted a friend to see if she was free to take me to Costco. She said yes she could if I could get it all done in 30 minutes. She asked you just have a few things to get? No I said but I could do it all in that time. See I really wanted to bless my hubby and not make him have to go. So I was determined I could do it. I had no time to plan a list or check supplies I had to go when my friend was free. So off we went and you know if you really set your mind to it and boogie you can get a weeks shopping done in 30 minutes. My friend actually checked her watch and I had done it in 20 minutes! Woo I'm smokin! With all my back pain I don't usually lift groceries into the car or carry much into the house. With my beautiful friend she did all of that for me. I am so blessed. Thank you Jesus. We need community. We can't do this life on our own.
Was thinking as my friend left that I should make cookies. I wanted to bless her with some to take to work for her supper later today. So I put everything away fast, ate and made cookies just in time for my friend who was zipping back over to pick up her groceries she left here, as she did not have time to get them home before running more errands. This is what I gave her.
Today I still have pain but it feels good to bless others. Oh and those dreaded feelings and thoughts that I was suffering with I have not had any since Sunday! Praise the Lord. Thank you also to all those who are praying for me. What a blessing that is. :) What do you do to push past the hard things in life to be a blessing? To do what God is calling you to do? Share your thoughts in the comments.
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